Insults are flying
by pen names r us
Summary: Ian and Bryan. Its a battle of the wits. Contains bad words so avoid if you don't like them.
1. Be faithful

It's back...and it's staying!

**Disclaimer: **I DON'T own beyblade.

"You can't do that!"

"Watch me."

"AAAAGGGHHH...NOOOOOO!"

"...I win."

"THAT'S NOT FAIR"

"Don't be a wimp."

"Me, a wimp. Please, I'm not the one who lost to a goody two shoes at the tournament."

"..."

"Oh shit!"

"..."

"PUT ME DOWN"

"Ok"

"...ow. Why did you drop me on my head?"

" Because I can."

"You are such a dick head, you now that, right?"

"You gonna keep yapping or can I beat you at Halo again."

"You won't win this time!"

"Ian, you said that last time."

"Well, I have a strategy this time."

"Are you going to actually use your brain this time?"

"Fuck up Bryan!"

_**Bang**_

"What was that?"

"The door."

"I knew that, I meant who was the one who slammed it."

"..."

"DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME, THAT IS WHAT I MEA - HEY!"

"You lose, again"

"Cheater!"

"Its not my fault you never shut your mouth."

"I think that was Tala and Spencer."

"What?"

"At the door, duh"

"..."

"I wounder where they have been?"

"You should keep your big nose out of other peoples business."

"It's probably not important...MY NOSE IS NOT BIG!"

"Hmm, delayed reaction there and besides your nose is so big other smaller noses get stuck in orbit around it."

"I hate you."

"Oh, please no, my heart is breaking."

"You, have a heart, wow, you learn something new everyday."

"What the hell do you think was pumping my blood around my body up till know, my liver or something?"

"Fuck off."

"No, seriously. I really want to-"

"I SAID FUCK OFF!"

"You know if you didn't want to tell me you could have just said."

"..."

"Hmmm, I win again."

"...damn it."

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Mwahahahahahaha...you thought that you could keep them away but their back. This time, if anyone has a problem with this fic, don't get it deleted, tell me and maybe I'll change it. Either that or laugh at you and your patheticness.


	2. Build god, then we can talk

Here you are, another chapter. Ain't I nice. Ian and Bryan are shopping (forced to by Tala) in a supermarket.

**Disclaimer:** _blah blah blah _**I **_blah blah blah _**DON'T **_blah blah blah _**OWN **_blah blah blah _**BEYBLADE **_blah_!

"Can we have this?"

"...no."

"Why?"

"Because it's not on the list."

"Why?"

"Because we don't need it."

"Why?"

"Because Tala didn't put it on there."

"Why?"

"Your doing that on purpose."

"No I'm not."

"...right, grab that. No the other one."

"This one?"

"No, I said the other one."

"This one."

"..."

"OW! What the fuck was that for!"

"For being a dick head."

"...I was not. Bloody bastard."

"Say again."

"What?"

"What did you just say?"

"What."

"Before that?"

"...can't remember."

"...right, whatever."

Several minutes or so later...

"Ian why are these in the trolley?"

"Dunno, maybe they fell in."

"Go put them back."

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't I'll stick you in the baby carrier bit on the trolley."

"But I'll get stuck."

"That's the point."

"Wanker."

At the checkout...

"Can I have chocolate?"

"If you pay for it."

"I haven't got any money."

"I know."

"Please!"

"Puppy dog eyes are useless against me."

"Pretty please."

"You are starting to look pathetic."

"If you buy me this one little chocolate bar I won't bug you for the rest of the day."

"...make it two days and you have a deal."

"O.k!"

"Ian, I said one chocolate bar."

"I know, I'm paying for the others."

"...you little sneaky bastard."

"...hehehe...um do you want one?"

"..."

"BRYAN, AAAAAAGGGGHHH! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT!"

"Tough luck, you big baby."

"NOOOO!"

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If you couldn't guess Bryan put Ian in the baby bit of the trolley. Please review and I'll put the next chapter up faster.


	3. Plug it in

Oopsie another chapter...hehehehe.

**Disclaimer:** I am not in possession of the cartoon beyblade or any of the characters featured in beyblade, so there :p

"knock, knock."

"Fuck off."

"Noo, your suppose to say who's there."

"I don't really give a damn who's there."

"Your a dick head."

"Took you all this time to figure that out."

"...where's Tala or Spencer?"

"Why?"

"'Coz I'm gonna tell them my joke."

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Why?"

"Because I'm sparing them the torture of listening to your stupid jokes."

"You haven't even listened to it so how do you know if it's crap?"

"Because your telling it."

"I hate you."

"You've said that before."

"Bog off."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Can I please tell you my joke?"

"No."

"PLEEAASSEE!"

"...no."

"Oh come on. It won't kill you."

"You don't now that."

"How the hell can a joke kill you?"

"In many, many ways."

"Huh?...Can I please tell you my joke?"

"Hmmmm...yyyyeee-no."

"Wanker."

"..."

"I'll tell Tala when he gets here then."

"Poor Tala."

"Fuck you."

Tala enters the room after several minutes... ( Tala will be in italics so as not to confuse you even more)

"I suggest you run."

_"Why?"_

Hey Tala, knock knock?"

"Fool, should have run."

"_Ummm...who's there?"_

"Little old lady."

_"Little old lady who?"_

"I didn't know you could yodel?"

"...That was bad."

"_Ian, where the fuck did you get that joke?"_

"The Internet, I got a lot more. Can I tell you?"

"Run?"

"Definitely._"_

"HEY GET BACK HERE! THEY AIN'T THAT BAD!"

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Poor Ian. Please review and give some suggestions because I'm running out of ideas. Bye bye.


	4. Because I want you

Ello,ello, ello.

**Disclaimer:** I, Miss Pen names r us, do not own beyblade or any of the characters featured in this short story. They belong to a guy who's name I can't remember.

"Bryan."

"Bryan?"

"I know your awake, so stop pretending."

"Go away."

"No."

"Go away before I decide to hurt you."

"...ok."

"You probably couldn't help anyway."

"...help with what?"

"Don't bother. I'm suppose to go away, remember?"

"Ok."

"I hate you."

"What did I do?"

"You wasn't suppose to say ok."

"Why?"

"Because I was...trying to..um..never mind, are you going to help me?"

"You wanted me to ask if I could help you."

"No!."

"Don't lie, your nose will get bigger."

"Piss off."

"Whatever, what you need help with."

"...my homework."

"Your homework...your asking ME for help with your homework?"

"Yes, that is what I am doing...besides I couldn't find Tala or Spencer."

"I knew there was a reason behind you asking me and not one of the others."

"You gonna help or what?"

"What."

"What?"

"You said are you going to help or what so I chose what."

"...BRYAN, I SERIOUSLY NEED HELP WITH MY MATHS HOMEWORK 'COZ IT IS FUCKING HARD!"

"Fine, fine. No need to shout."

"Stop glaring Ian, you might bust your last remaining brain cell."

"...you gonna help me?"

"Ok."

"YES!"

"On one condition."

NO!"

"You leave me alone for the rest of the day."

"...hmmmm, fair enough. Deal."

" I'm not that good at maths."

"I don't care, as long as I get some answers right I won't have to do extra homework."

"You'll have to do extra homework if you get them wrong."

"Yeah and it sucks."

"Really...hmmm."

"Hmm?...Hmm what?"

"Nothing...most of your answers are right anyway."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Cool. Thanks anyway."

"Hn."

"Bet I could beat you at Red Fraction 2."

"Doubt it."

"Wanna bet."

"You'll lose."

So they played their precious game and Ian lost, badly. Several days or so later Ian got his homework back from the teacher. You might be happy to know that Bryan is a genius at maths and knew that every answer that Ian had put down was wrong, yet he didn't correct the small Russian so Ian has extra maths homework and has decided to never ask Bryan ever again for help with his homework. Therefore Bryan was happy for there where no more interruptions.

---------------------------------

Well that was short. I might write some more pretty soon to make up for it. I hope you liked it. By the way I don't own Red Fraction 2 (in case someone tries to sue me.) My brother loves that game, I don't but I couldn't really see Bryan playing any other type of game without killing or guns in it. Oh well.

By the way, this is a old fic that got deleted. It was deleted because the rating was not high enough so I've put it back up with a high rating. I don't know wether I'm allowed to do this but a lot of people liked this fic and I liked writing it. So basicallyfuck the ass who got this deleted and hope they burn in hell.

Alsotwo people gave me brilliant ideas for chapters but I can't do that just yet as I still got about six or seven chapters left from before. They will be used but not just yet. Thank you for the reviews and goodnight.


	5. Cemetery drive

This chapter links in with My Thoughts. It's another story I'm writing. If you haven't read it...GO READ IT THEN! Hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own beyblade...do I have to do this for every chapter? Can someone please tell me?

"Hey Bryan, I'm bored."

"So."

"Talk to me then."

"No."

"But I can't talk to Tala or Spencer 'coz they are asleep."

"Lucky bastards."

"Asshole."

"Idiot."

"..."

"..."

"I hate bus rides."

"I don't care."

"Where are we going?"

"...you know perfectly well where we are going."

"I mean what is it called."

"I don't know and I don't care."

"Your such an asshole."

"I know."

Several minutes later...

"...four...five...six...seven...eight...nine...ten..."

"What are you doing?"

"Counting...eleven."

"I can see that. What are you counting?"

"Red cars...twelve...thirteen."

"Why?"

"'Coz I'm bored out of my mind and you won't talk to me."

"Then count in your head."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Ian, its getting annoying!"

"So, I can do whatever I want and nothing you say will stop me."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah 'coz I have a way of stopping you from picking on me."

"And what's that?"

"AAAAAAGGGGHHHH! THAT HURT!"

"...what?"

"STOP IT BRY! THAT HURTS!"

"...what are you-hey!"

"_Leave him alone Bryan."_

"But I-"

"_You're swapping seats with Spencer 'coz you can't stop fighting."_

"But I didn't touch him."

"sniff I didn't do anything to you."

"You little..."

"_Bryan. Sit!"_

"He he he."

"What the fuck are you staring at Blondie?"

At this point everyone on the bus (minus his team) tried to move away from the pale haired Russian. Poor Bryan was in a bad mood all through the bus journey, mainly because Tala had got mad at him and treated him like a little child. Ian ,on the other hand, counted five hundred and sixteen red cars and enjoyed the rest of his journey knowing he had got Bryan in trouble. Well it was the boys fault for not talking to him when he was bored.

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Please review. The 'Blondie' Bryan refers to is actually Max not Spencer.


	6. Suffocating site

I'm not feeling well so I got inspired from it. Yay...note the sarcasm. Enjoy...I said enjoy dammit!

**Disclaimer:** Hmmmmm...I. Don't. Own. BEYBLADE!

"Bryaaaan."

"...what?"

"I don't feel well."

"What's wrong."

"I feel sick and I have a headache...it's not funny."

"Do you see me laughing."

"No, your smirking."

"Yeah well, I don't care."

"You never do."

"Your ill, so why don't you go to bed and leave me in peace."

"I'll leave in pieces if I could."

"What?"

"...nothing."

"Riiiight. Why are you still here."

"Coz if I move I feel worse."

"...anything I can do?"

"...your being nice to me. Now I'm getting scared."

"Well, you do look kinda pathetic."

"Oh how nice of you to say...can you get me a drink perhaps?"

"Hn."

Several minutes later...

"Wow, you got me drink."

"It won't happen again."

"A one off."

"Yep."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I think this is the quietest you have ever been without a gag."

"...hmm, thank you."

"Your welcome."

"I was being sarcastic."

"I know, so was I."

"Damn you."

"Hey, I got you a drink."

"...your gonna use that against me."

"For today, yes."

"Bugger. Take advantage of the weak why don't ya."

"...ok."

"Damn it."

"Dumbass."

"I hate you."

"You say that a lot yet you never do anything about it."

"Yeah well, meh."

"Meh?"

"Meh."

"Wow, thats modern education for you...meh."

"Piss off. I'm not feeling well."

"Your feeling sick. That doesn't effect your mental abilities."

"Shut up."

"...make me."

"...asshole."

"Wow, that showed me. I don't think I'll be nasty to you anymore."

"Stop being sarcastic, it's annoying."

"Yeah well, your annoying."

"I'm ill leave me alone."

"Go to your room then."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I've told you this. If I get up I feel sick."

"You are sick. Whats the difference if you sit down or stand up."

"Coz when I stand up I end up running to the toilet and hurling."

"...ha."

"Fuck you."

"..."

"Where you going?"

"To my room."

"..."

"..."

"I'm all alone... Oh god, I think I'm gonna spew!"

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Poor Ian. Please REVIEW and I might write more. Hehehe bribery is so much fun.


	7. Bitter end

Ok this is not very long but I have no more inspiration. I had this in my notepad for just under a week and I was going to add more but in the end I couldn't be arsed. Anyways here we go...

**Disclaimer...** No own beyblade...so bog off!

"Hey!"

"You snooze you lose Ian."

"I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to snipe you."

"...but you didn't"

"Because I didn't know where the fuck you were and then you somehow killed me."

"I came up behind you."

"...that sounds sooo wrong."

"Only in your mind it does...got you again."

"Damn. Stop distracting me!"

"...I'm not distracting you."

"You are!"

"How?"

"By talking to me. It's making me lose concentration."

"Fine. I won't talk to you therefore when I kill you again you can't blame me."

"..."

"..."

"...damn it!"

"I wasn't talking."

"I know."

"So you can't blame me."

"I know!"

"Its your complete and utter lack of skill that is to blame."

"...fuck you."

"...shit."

"HA! Got ya!"

"...revenge."

"NO!"

"I think I might possibly be winning."

"No shit Sherlock."

"...I'm not Sherlock, I'm Bryan."

"...fuck up."

"You really are crap at this game."

"I can win you at beat-em ups."

"Thats because you hit buttons at random."

"Yeah right. I'm good at those games."

"...button bashing doesn't make you good. It just means your lucky."

"Yeah and?"

"Half the time you don't even know what the fuck you are doing."

"...true but I still win."

"Whatever. Hmm head shot."

"That was just luck."

"No, you was stupid enough to stand still."

"Wanker."

"Loser."

"Cheater."

"Sore loser."

"Asshole."

"...I win."

"damn it!"

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Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...you know I could do the 'evil laugh of doom' for however long I like because I don't have to breath. How? I hear you ask (I have super hearing). Easy, I'm bloody typing it dummy.

Oh and please review...I command you to...even though I have no control over what you will or won't do...hmm, damn.


	8. Like a prayer

I thought this up while trying to make a poster on an Apple/Macintosh computer. I'm use to windows and I was using a computer that was extremely slow...which is how the idea came to mind. Hope you enjoy...

**Disclaimer:** No own beyblade...no sue me please...please!

"Stupid fucking computer..."

"What's wrong with you Bryan?"

"The computer, it froze again."

"So you are swearing at it?"

"It helps."

"How?"

"...because I could either swear at it or kick the screen in."

"So swearing at it stops you from beating the circuits out of it."

"Yep."

"Keep swearing. What was you doing anyway?"

"Research."

"On what?"

"On ways to shut you up."

"...really?'

"No, it's for school work."

"Ok then, I'll leave you alone."

Half an hour later...

"Shit!"

"Computer freeze again?"

"NO! It turned itself off,"

"Really?"

"Yes! Piece of crap."

"How much work did you do?"

"Almost all of it, damn it."

"You gonna start again?"

"I have to, it was suppose to be in yesterday."

"Ah.."

"Stupid piece of crap...why are you smirking?"

" Um...it's because you are talking to something that can't hear you."

"...whatever."

"Have fun."

Another half hour later...

"Fuck. Not again. Why is it doing this!"

"Don't tell me, it went off again?"

"Yes!"

"Fuck, there must be something wrong with it.'

"Hmm...stupid thing...what are you doing?"

"Um...getting something to eat. Want me to get you anything?"

"...sure."

"..."

"..."

"...he he he he."

"...what are you doing?"

"Aaaagghh! Shit! Run!"

"HEY! YOU'VE BEEN TURNING THE PLUG OFF! GET BACK HERE! WHEN I CATCH YOU, YOU ARE DEAD!

"SHIT! HELP!"

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Review and I will do another chapter...Mwahahahahahaha bribery is nice!


	9. Out of control

I'm stuck with this so here will be a few shorties involving Bryan and Ian (ha, Ian is short, perfect for him :p). So I hope you like. I might even add other characters to be tortured (not literally) by the demolition duo. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...I'm soooo sugar high.

Heres a score of who has "won" during past chapters.

Bryan : 6

Ian : 2

Ha, Ian's losing.

Anyways I kept you long enough, on with the stories...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything to do with beyblade. Heck, I don't even own this computer, it's my bro's.

1)To much T.V is bad for you.

"Ian, this is crap turn it over."

"No."

"Turn it over!"

"I have the control, so bog off."

"You won't have it any more."

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"GIVE ME THE CONTROL!"

"AAARRGGHH!"

"...Mine."

"Ow, ow, ow! My head hurts."

"..hmmm...wonder why."

"It might have something to do with when you HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH THE DAMN CONTROL!"

"Maybe...what?"

"I hate you."

"Do you want me to hit you again? No? Then shut up."

2)Impossibilities!

The people in this is Tyson and Bryan...It's during the G-rev (poor Ian wasn't in that) before Tyson's match against Brooklyn. I know Bryan wasn't there during that time, he was hurt by Garland but a girl can dream.

"We need to stick together. We have nearly won, just one more match. Soon Boris will go down and so will B.E.G.A. We haven't got this far for nothing and if Kai can beat Brooklyn then I'm sure I can. After all I beat him in the Championships. We just need to remember that nothing is impossible!"

"I have a question."

"What is it Bryan?"

"Have you ever tried to slam a revolving door?"

"Um...no. Why?"

"Because it's impossible."

"Um...oh...ok...Almost nothing is impossible!"

3)Locker view

_Tala in italics_

"HELP!" BANG BANG "HELLO! I NEED HELP!"

"Ian?"

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!

_"Why were you in a locker?"_

"I was admiring the goddamn view."

"Really?"

"No, some fucker pushed me in...and now I'm late for class...fuck, I'm off."

_"See ya later...You pushed him in didn't you?"_

"Me? No."

"_Yeah right, why did you do it?"_

"Do you remember what happened to my locker last Thursday?"

"_Yeah, purple paint burst from it and you was covered in the stuff."_

"Stop smirking, well anyway I found out who did it and stuffed him in his locker."

_"Oh...how'd you find out?"_

"Found the paint in his room, he's gonna see the inside of his locker a lot this week."

_"You too are gonna end up killing each other."_

"Hopes it him first."

_"He is better at explosives than you so my moneys on Ian"_

"It's nice to know I got my captain's support."

4)Little one's.

Ian and Kevin this time...sharing insults.

"Have you ever considered suing your brains for non-support?"

"Ha, to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people."

"Grrr...don't let your mind wander to far. It's to small to go out on it's own."

"If you were any more stupid, you'd have to be watered twice a week."

"Whatever...you are so dense, light bends around you. Beat that."

"Um...You have an IQ one lower than it takes to grunt."

"Yeah, well...yours is twice lower."

"Your wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead."

"I refuse to enter a battle of wits with you - I can't attack an unarmed person."

"...um...I've run out."

"I can't think of any either."

"Where the heck did you get all those insults?"

"Bryan or Tala."

"Mine's from Lee when I'm annoying him."

" It's because we are short. They think they can pick on us."

"Yeah!"

" They are heightists."

"Yeah...what?"

"Heightists...like racist or sexist except its height not race or sex."

"Oh...yeah they are!"

"We should sort them out."

"Yeah...how?"

"Dunno...kick them in the shins."

"...yeah...or anywhere else we can reach...damn. I hate being short."

" Me too."

5) I'm running out of titles...

Back to Ian and Bryan.

"Ow!"

"Watch the step."

"I did fucking notice."

"Then why did you fall over it?"

"Fuck up Ian."

6) Um...hmm.

"Fuck, I'm stuck."

"...you shouldn't sit in glue then."

"What?"

"Made you look."

"Damn you!"

7) Fury of the red head!

Tala's back and once again he's in _italics_.

_"Why the hell did you to do this?"_

"Not telling."

_"Ian, I'm warning you. Bryan. Why?"_

"I have my reason and you wouldn't understand them."

_"And why is that?"_

"Because they are to complicated for you to understand."

_"Why?"_

"Well, because even I don't understand them."

"_...must breath...keep calm...don't rip his head off...Ian. Why!_

"Just because."

"_IAN!"_

"I did it for a cookie."

"_AAAGGGHHH!_"

"SHIT IAN RUN!"

"FUCK!"

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Holy crap...well, I hoped you like that. This is probably the last for a while...I have no more idea's.

Reviewing will be VERY nice. It would be extra nice if people give me possible ideas for this fic...PLEASE!

Bye bye.


	10. Red blooded woman

It's been ages since I updated this story so I apologize. I ran out of inspiration but after a while I came up with this. Personally I'm not sure if I like it or not. It's funny but it seems almost desperate. Please tell me if it seems like a desperate attempt at humor.

Also, for the first time, Spencer will be in this chapter. Like Tala his speech will be in _italics_. Decided to use him for a change. It was originally going to be Tala but I changed my mind...sorry Tala fans.

**Disclaimer:** humph...stupid disclaimer...I do not own Beyblade.

"...and then I could...um...no...that won't work. I could try...ah...yeah, that might work...or-"

"Who are you talking to?"

"AAAGGHH!"

"...?"

"Bry. Don't sneak up on me!'

"I didn't."

"You did!"

"I didn't, if you wasn't talking to yourself you would have heard me."

"Yeah right, besides I wasn't talking to myself."

"You was."

"I wasn't."

"You was."

"Wasn't."

"...was."

"Wasn't!"

"...was."

"I wasn't times ten."

"Was times infinity."

"Wasn't times infinity plus one."

"What? You can't have infinity plus one 'coz infinity is infinite."

"I don't care."

"I'll make you care."

"Fuck off."

"What you gonna do? Tell the voices in your head?"

"I do not talk to myself!"

"Yeah right."

"I was thinking out loud."

"You know, talking to your self is the first sign of madness."

"But I wasn't talking to myself, I was thinking out loud!"

"Sure you was...psycho."

"I am not. You're the only psycho around here!"

"I don't talk to my self."

"I WAS NOT TALKING TO MY SELF!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...I think I'm going to go, you obviously have issues."

"FUCK YOU!"

"..."

"WANKER!"

"..."

"I WAS NOT TALIING TO MYSELF, I WAS THINKING OUT LOUD! He's the only psycho around here."

"_Ian, who you talking to?"_

"NO-ONE!_"_

"_Um...ok."_

"AND I'M NOT A PSYCHO!"

"_Didn't say you was."_

"AND I DON'T HAVE ISSUES!"

"_You've been talking to Bryan again, haven't you?"_

"I HAVE!"

"_There was no need to shout that."_

"WHAT?...oh, sorry."

"_My team are a bunch of weirdo's."_

"Hey, you're on this team."

"_Yeah I know."_

"So that means you're weird too."

"_Yeah, but at least I don't talk to myself."_

"AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O---O

Well, had a giggle with this one. Mainly because it reminds me of when I'm arguing with my brother or if I'm teasing my friends. I still think it's a bit desperate but that is up to you to decide I guess.

1st sign of madness is talking to yourself

2nd sign of madness is answering back

3rd sign of madness is looking for hairs on the palm of your hand

4th sign of madness is finding some

This is why talking to yourself is bad...not sure where I got this from but I personally think it's bloody funny.

My friend once said 'If you hear voices talking to you, don't be ignorant. Answer them back.' But then again, my friend is slightly weird.


	11. Did my time

This is the first **new** chapter for this I have done in ages….heh heh….I should really update stuff more.

Thank you dear darling KamiaKotai. This is for you because you gave me the idea.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own beyblade.

"I'm hungry."

"Good for you."

"Can you make me something?"

"Why the fuck would I make you something?"

"….'coz I know what really happened to Tala's stash of chocolate. I could tell him."

"You wouldn't."

"I am hungry and getting slightly desperate."

"Blackmailing little asshole."

"Heh heh."

"….what do you want then?"

"Cookies."

"Cookies?"

"Yes, cookies."

"Cookies...joy."

T**he kitchen. **

"When will my cookies be done?"

"In a while."

"….why."

"I have to find all the ingredients first."

"Why?"

"…'coz I need the ingredients to make your blasted cookies."

"Why?"

"Shut the fuck up Ian before I hurt you."

"Why?"

"'Coz I'm very close to ripping you apart at this very moment."

"….."

"…."

"…why?"

"Arrgghh!"

**BANG!**

"…he he. Uh…missed. He he."

"Keep still and I won't miss this time!"

"No!….Hey, you need that for my cookies!"

"Fuck you and your dip shitcookies!"

"EEE... RUN AWAY!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU ANNOYING LITTLE GIT AND HAVE YOUR ASS KICKED LIKE A MAN!"

"AAAAGGHHH! TALA!"

"IAN! STOP RUNNING!"

"_Holy shit!"_

"TALA SAVE ME FROM THE PSYCHO!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"_Why are you both covered in flour?…Ian! Let go of me!"_

"Nooo! He'll eat me!"

"Fuck you! I've seen what you eat! I'll die of a heart attack if I eat you…I only want to rip you limb from limb!"

"_Also, you're not a cannibal. Don't forget to mention that ."_

"Get him away from me!"

"Grrr!"

"_Why? Ian let go for fucks sake."_

"Your chocolate! He ate it all!"

"You little shit!"

"…_..what?"_

"Heh heh….see ya Bry."

"Ian, get back here….oh shit."

"_Bryan…..why are you backing away…I'm not gonna hurt you….much."_

"Mwahahahahahahahahaha!"

"…eep…."

-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-

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Go on, it isn't that hard, is it?


	12. Since you've been gone

There shall be a new character added to the mix. Be nice to him :P

0.0

"Who ya texting?"

"….."

"Bryan?"

"….go away Ian."

"…….Tell me."

"Ian."

"……please."

"…..no."

"Please!"

"No!"

"Bryaan….pleeaasee!"

"Ian, piss off before I shove you in the bin."

"I don't fit in the bin, remember? So your threat is empty."

"Then I'll just shove you head first down the toilet."

"If you don't tell me I'll resort to desperate measures."

"Getting Tala to order me to tell you won't work."

"I know that from when you took the batteries out of my Gameboy. I have a different desperate measure."

"Ian, I don't care so just piss off."

"Fine but I'll be back and then you will tell me who your secret texter friend is."

"I would say don't be so nosy but that extra limb stuck to your face makes it impossible for you."

"Fuck you!"

"Whatever."

Twenty minutes later…….

"_Hello…"_

"What is it Max?"

"_Ian said tell him or something like that."_

"So you're his desperate measure."

"_His what?"_

"…..never mind."

"……_so…"_

"I'm not going to tell him."

"_O.k.…."_

"……."

"…_..so…what did Ian want to know?"_

"He didn't tell you?"

"_Nope."_

"Then I'm not going to either."

"_Meanie."_

"My god, that's the worst insult ever, I'm so hurt."

"_You better be!"_

"……do you know what sarcasm is?

"…_um….Kai uses it a lot against Tyson I think."_

"That's not what I asked."

"…_oh…um……the weather is nice and sunny today, don't you think?"_

"……."

"_What?"_

"……."

"……"

"…….."

"….._uh….you're phone is going off."_

"……you are extremely weird."

"_Like your not."_

"Excuse me."

"_Why, what did you do?"_

"…….huh?"

"_You said excuse me so I asked -"_

"Yeah, I know that. Are you trying to be a smartass or something?"

"_No. How would I be a smartass?"_

"….never mind."

"……"

"……."

"……_.."_

"……how long are you going to sit here?"

"…_um…..till you tell Ian that thing I guess."_

"Don't you have anything else better to do?"

"_Nope. Everybody else is busy."_

"Great."

"……_."_

"……"

"……_.."_

"O.k, what is Ian offering you to do this?"

"_Do what? I'm not doing anything."_

"You are sitting there staring at me."

"_I'm not."_

"You are."

"……"

"……stop it."

"_I'm not doing anything."_

"…I didn't think Ian was this clever."

"…_.wha?"_

"I can't hit you or anything to get rid of you because then everybody will want to smash my face in."

"…_really, I'm not doing anything. Ian just said to sit by you and to tell you to tell him."_

"……and what did he offer you to do that?"

"…_..just some candy and an ice-cream later."_

"Go to Ian and tell him I'll talk. If you do that I'll give anything you want."

"_Really!"_

"Only if you piss off and tell Ian."

"_O.k!"_

Five minutes later……

"So…you gonna tell me or what?"

"What."

"……your not going to tell me."

"Correct."

"Are you going to hurt me?"

"Correct."

"I'm going to go find Tala."

"I'm going to go and shove you down a toilet."

"Before I start running-"

"And screaming like a girl."

"I'm not going to scream like a girl!"

"Right, I really believe you."

"……can I ask one question?"

"Sure, you should have one last request before you drown down the bog."

"How did you get rid of Max?"

"I offered to give him anything if he pissed off."

"Damn. I thought he would work against you."

"Well, you was wrong."

"He did annoy you right?"

"…..no."

"Liar."

"Whatever. Anyway, start running Ian." "

"Huh?"

I think Tala is at the beach today."

"Oh shit!"

-

O.k, this might be confusing. Basically Bryan was getting paranoid with Max just sitting there staring at him. He thought the innocent blonde was up to something. Poor Maxie didn't have a clue, all he wanted was some ice-cream so he just did what Ian asked him to do.

As for who Bryan is texting can be whoever you want it to be, let your imagiantion run wild.


End file.
